An Attempt at Christmas Cooking...

To help my Mother with the Christmas Eve dinner, I volunteered to make the bean salad. First, I must admit that this particular dish isn't a favorite of mine. It must be made the night before, so the beans have time to soak up the vinegar marinade. My first dilemma occurred not long after I started. I had my Mom's recipe out, and was reading the directions, and adding all the ingredients like a pro. (Or so I thought). Then my Dad walked in, stopped for a minute while examining my bowl of beans, and said..."Umm, Kristen I think the lima beans have to be cooked." Of course the lima beans were the first thing on the recipe, and I had added the green beans, wax beans, and kidney beans on top of the lima beans. Set back number 1-After about 30 minutes of picking through the other three, I isolated all the lima beans so I could cook them. I thought I had avoided catastrophe. So, while the lima beans were cooking, I thought I would whip up the marinade. Easy, right? No. Set back number 2-We didn't have the right type of vinegar. After a few minutes of pleading, hugging, and begging my brother Josh to run to my Grandparents for the correct vinegar I succeeded in making him feel sorry for me. While I waited for the vinegar, I decided to cut the onions. Set back number 3-I had no prior experience with onions, but knew that they could make your eyes water. I thought I was safe with my glasses on. Wrong again. Half way through attempting to cut the onion in rings, I decided that the family would have to settle for half moon pieces instead of circles. At this point, I realized that not only were my cutting stills poor, but I was crying like a little child. The tears were pouring, and my glasses were fogged from the steam from the lima beans. Eventually, I did manage to get all the ingredients together. After stirring it incessantly, and placing it in the refrigerator, I took a look at the kitchen. It all began on clean counter tops, and with an empty sink. Two cutting boards, 5 bowls, countless spoons, two pans, and a knife lay around the kitchen haphazardly. As I did the dishes I thought, "So, this is real-life cooking." And I have come to a conclusion...the only reason that Martha Stewart makes things look easy, is because she can have as many out-takes as she needs. And she has a staff to clean everything up after her show. Everything on TV is fake. If you want to see real cooking, come on over. There might be more of what I'm cooking on the ceiling and wall than in the dish, but I guarantee a great experience. No out takes required.